Thanksgiving Boredom Cure - Best of Reddit

Click Here to be taken to the greatest time waster I've found in weeks.  It also has a link at the top for the top 500 reddit posts of all time.  As you are staggering through your Turkey Day hangover after tonight's high school reunion and need something to do before mom asks you to help, here is that something.

OJ Simpson Rumors About Khloe Kardashian

I know that I've covered this topic before, but OJ's former manager, Norman Pardo, told In Touch this week that it's possible Khloe is OJ's daughter.  Odds are that Pardo is penniless and this interview simply paid the rent for one more month on his Santa Monica condo, but I still appreciate someone calling a spade a spade.  You tell me which one doesn't belong.

  

Here is Sydney Simpson vs. Khloe Simpson-Kardashian.

I guessing whoring for black guys is genetic after all.

Ron Burgundy to Host SportsCenter on Dec. 5th

Let's just hope it goes better than last time.

NFL Game Production Control Room

This video is long, but I found it fascinating to see just how many moving parts there really are.

Andy Reid Farts on Philip Rivers

Money > Rings

So the Lakers just signed Kobe to a $48M contract extension, $23.5M next year and $25M the following year.  From my perspective, he essentially chose money over rings.  I just can't wrap my head around Kobe's mindset.  I don't know if he is worried about his post-injury production and decided to preemptively get paid.  I don't know if his ego will not let him be anything but the highest paid player.  I don't know if he is worried about the impending divorce on the horizon.  I don't know why MJ, Tim Duncan, KG, Dirk, etc. were willing to take pay cuts for rings but Kobe isn't.  I don't know how he thinks he can win another ring without having the cap room to get the help.  I don't know if it's Obama's fault and Kobe hates only taking home $10.6M of his $24.4M salary.  And I really don't know if Kobe will be productive enough to pay for this outrageously expensive farewell tour. 

What I do know is that the Lakers dug themselves a pretty big hole today.  As a buddy said to me today, "The Lakers are now destined to be the worst thing you can be in the NBA -- Mediocre."  On the bright side, Kobe will now for certain be a Laker for life.  I know Paul Pierce wishes he got this kind of treatment in Boston.  As Deadspin pointed out - Kobe is overtaking Joe Johnson & Amar'e Stoudamire on the highest-paid list, so maybe he really does deserve it.

Big Wave Skiing?

 
Every time I see a different way that people are riding big waves at Jaws I get mad at myself for never even having thought of it.  Just like any other invention that would allow me to retire.  Foil boarding, tow-in surfing, wake skating, and wave skiing are just further proof of my lack of creativity when it comes to extreme sports. 

John Daly Hates Snakes

 
At first, I thought this was some sort of reverse selfie, in a parallel world that only John Daly could be drunk enough to find.

Strength of Schedule vs. Rankings

USA Today released the Sagarin computer rankings of conference divisions based on strength of schedule vs. the Top 10 & also the Top 30 teams.  And surprise, surprise the Pac-12 South is the strongest division with the Pac-12 North coming in 2nd.  But you wouldn't know that by looking at the Top 10 right now.

Logically, you would think that the Pac-12 would be given a little more respect.  We have a 9-game conference schedule, not an 8-game schedule like the vaunted South Eastern Conference.  Do you think Marcus Mariota would've rather played Chattanooga instead of Arizona on Saturday?  The Pac-12 schedule rotation is set in advance, not handled by the commissioner so top teams in different divisions can avoid each other in conference.  The Pac-12 doesn't configure schedules so that possible losses are played earlier than cupcakes in week 13.  (Sorry, Muschamp.)  Mike Slive knows that late losses are the worst in order for the SEC to get 4 or 5 teams into the BCS, so he manipulated the schedule to break one of college football's unwritten rules for the SEC's benefit.  And ESPN doesn't even say a fucking word about it, since they are so clearly in cahoots.  The SEC & ESPN actually hid Paul Finebaum from the media last week so that he didn't have to spend the whole week taking it on the head and explaining away opponents like Coastal Carolina, Georgia Southern, & Chattanooga.  And this comes the week after we saw FIVE teams with extremely late bye weeks.  Slive would rather do away with the SEC Championship game and just have 2 divisional winners than have a team take a loss.  But I digress...

Hopefully the new College Football Playoff selection committee is able to recognize that teams with two losses in a superior conference are equivalent to one loss or even undefeated teams in inferior conferences.  Especially conferences that tailor schedules so that powerhouses avoid each other at costs.  In all seriousness, I believe USC, UCLA, Arizona, ASU, Oregon, Washington, and Stanford would all easily beat up on South Carolina.  The fucking ACC has TWO teams ahead of Stanford.  Even Florida State thinks Clemson sucks.  The bowl season is going to suffer due to these "rankings."

Mark Sanchez Has Corn Rows

How bad does Mark Sanchez want out of New York?  I mean, seriously.  Look at that shell of his former self.  In some desperate way to distract from the 1 year anniversary of the Buttfumble, he drops this new 'do on me.  I guess corn rows are his version of hiding in plain sight, except for that fact that he now looks exactly like Coolio.  And anyone that knows more words to Gangsta's Paradise as opposed to Amish Paradise is not my friend.

Morning Melons with Lindsey Vecchione

So Jonathan Toews has a girlfriend...  I only found out about this temptress yesterday, and she's quickly climbing in my arbitrary rankings.  It's actually quite difficult to find a non-bikini picture of her on Google Images.  Lindsey Vecchione is the hottest hockey WAG until someone proves me wrong.

Lib Hypocrisy 101

I promise to attempt to stay away from politics, but yesterday was just too much for me.  It's so hypocritical, it's laughable.  I don't know how they sleep at night.
 

 

Don't think I forgot about you, Harry Reid.  You're all scumbags.

 

The 110 Freeway Carpool / Tollway / Smug Lane

There seems to be a lot confusion regarding the 110 Freeway carpool lanes that are esentially toll lanes now.  I refer to them as the Smug Lane, because I laugh at the simpletons and lemmings wallowing in traffic for no reason.  Let me help.

1. Order a transponder from Metro ExpressLanes.  It pre-loads $40 onto your account.
2. Set your new transponder to 2 or 3 riders (whichever is free).  NEVER, EVER set it to 1 rider.
3. Enjoy the Smug Lane for free.

There are a few warnings that I should put on this fool-proof system.  Currently the only way for you to get caught is for a cop to be following you, for him to recognize that you are indeed alone, then wait to see how many blue lights flash just after your car drives past the cameras pictured above.  If the cop sees that your car made more than 1 blue flash, THEN & ONLY THEN will he know if you are cheating the system.  So switch it if you are being tailgated by a cop, otherwise fight The Man.

Only after using it a few times did I realized how unenforceable this toggle switch on your transponder truly is.  So after a year of driving alone in the traffic-free Smug Lane, I still have $38 pre-loaded onto my transponder.  I wonder if I will be able to recoup that money when LADOT pulls the plug on the whole thing for creating even more traffic (which it has).  On the other hand, I bet the politicians are too horny for the extra revenue stream to ever actually get rid of it.

EDIT - Supposedly the system has a $3 maintenance fee if you do not use it 4 times per month, so maybe this isn't for people who never use the 110 or 105 freeways.

Tiger Woods Stanford Recruiting Letter

Here is the letter that Tiger Woods received from the Stanford golf coach in March of 1989.  From my perspective, the most startling part of the letter is the date.  Tiger was just barely 13 years old when he received this letter.  I know recruiting starts much earlier now, but this was the 1980's.  I bet Tiger was the youngest player Wally Goodwin ever sent a recruiting letter by 3 or 4 years.  Some other interesting takeaways were that Stanford cares more about verbal than math, and freshman year of high school grades don't matter.  I doubt that is still the case, but either way Stanford will probably see this as bad press. Laying out the bare minimum prerequisites for "athletes to get a bit of a break" is not always the best look.  And lastly, that comment about more national championships is only true if you count women's sports.  We all know that is a joke, and thus USC has 21 more men's national championships than Stanford.  Nice try though.

P.S.  I took one lesson from Tom Sargent when I was younger, and I told my Dad that I didn't like him.  I think my Dad was happy because he was $60/hour.  My guess is Tiger got a better rate.

Infamous Jameis

Infamous Jameis does not really have the same ring to it, but this Jameis Winston story is starting to heat up regardless.  I honestly wonder if Columbus, Ohio is behind drudging this story up.  It all just seems too good to be true to salacious Deadspin addicts like myself.  You can get a much clearer perspective of how ass-backwards everything is in Tallahassee from the alleged victim's press release today.  I know that these stories have two sides, but I have to take a Heisman trophy candidate's story with a fucking gigantic grain of salt after Lennay Kekua.  Notre Dame also knows these sexual assault cases all too well.

Let's rank the best parts of this "small town" big-time football cover-up:
1. TPD would not name Jameis Winston on report, even after being positively identified by victim.
2. Jameis Winston didn't have an attorney, thus his lawyer is the FSU football team lawyer. So TPD illegally informed FSU officials, who obviously alerted their team attorney, who then informed Winston of an ongoing rape case, and then decided to represent Winston.  Some may see an obvious conflict of interest, but what I actually see is FSU officials debating the best way to slander the victim when need be.  "Say she was drunk... she'll leave school so we can bash her grades... etc."
3. Jameis Winston should not have known about the investigation, only law enforcement, or else he could get his alibi and witnesses in order.
4. Detective told victim and her attorney that Tallahassee is a football town and that she will be "raked over the coals." (Steubenville anyone?)
5. Detective would not turn over DNA and blood work results, would not collect DNA from Winston, would not interview the only witness.
6. Detective finally confirms victims sobriety 4 months after repeated requests, while currently allowing the media to propagate that she was drunk.
7. Why was the State Attorney last to know 11 months later?

We all know why.

SI Hitpiece Becomes Recruiting Tool for OK State

 
Most of you will remember Sports Illustrated pitiful attempt at a 5-part takedown of the Oklahoma State football program earlier this year.  The piece was researched almost entirely by an Oklahoma grad (red flag), profiled only bankrupt and disgruntled ex-players (red flag), and was broken down into 5-parts since they knew the multiple articles were incredibly soft (red flag).

In the end, all they ended up doing was highlighting some of the recruiting tactics OK State is willing to employ while simultaneously accentuating the perception of the NCAA's unwillingness to bring them to justice.  I couldn't think of a better recruiting tool even when I was reading that farce.  This 5-parter shits on the Longhorn Network for recruiting.  Some of the stories profiled talked about $1000 handshakes and other under the table money given to stars on the team.  They told of a culture where teachers made sure that you were eligible no matter what.  It touched on prevalent drug abuse that was swept under the rug and young co-eds as hostesses/prostitutes.  I could hear the collective laptops of high school football players nationwide firing up to work on their applications that night.  Go Cowboys!

And now 40-plus year old Mike Gundy has said as much.  He's quoted yesterday, "I think it helped us in recruiting... We had four or five players that were really good players that started calling on us and showing interest the next few weeks after the article came out. That was the only thing I could attribute it to, because we certainly weren’t playing very good... Any publicity is good publicity... But there was interest from players that we didn’t have any interest in until that came out."

Chi Chi Rodriguez Takes One on the Chi Chis

 

I wasn't going to blog this, but I can't stop watching it.

Great White Sharks in the Southbay

I love Shark Week as much as the next guy, but I will tell you that this video made my balls turtle back inside more than even a dip in the Pacific usually does.  El Porto is basically Manhattan Beach, so that should resonate with non-Angelinos.  One of those sharks looked pretty big to me, while the other two seemed a little younger.  I've been shark diving before, so my perspective is obviously better than yours when I guess there is a 12 footer, a 9 footer, and an 8 footer in this shiver of great white sharks.

P.S. The shameless plug for Chicks Dig Gay Guys at the end came out of nowhere on me. My GAYDAR is clearly losing its range.  I need to keep a closer eye on well-manicured beards.

Larry Scott Won't Say A Word

 
I finally saw the video of this bullshit first down given to Stanford (after an incredible spot I might add) by the most partisan conference referees in the history of college football.  The Pac-12 referees have had a documented vendetta against USC football for more than a decade.  I'm almost positive USC led the Pac-10 in penalties every year of Pete Carroll's tenure.  A Pac-10 official once said that those numbers by themselves are a statistical impossibility without bias.  It seems as though Larry Scott has been telling the referees "it would be better if Stanford won" for years.  The video above is case in point.  Keep watching and tell me there isn't a pattern.
 

 
Then later in the same game.
 

 

 
Larry Scott actually apologized about this one below since it was so egregious.
 

 

 
And nobody cares.  "Keep whining USC fans" is all you get from the rest of college football.

USC vs. Stanford Unfiltered

 
Saturday night was the most fun any USC fan has had since 50-0.  What really helped is that everyone in town for homecoming truly thought we were going to win.  You could just feel it in the stadium.  Compared to two years ago where the Coliseum was just afraid of Andrew Luck, the Trojan family was out there in full force.  I had a good feeling as soon as Lee Corso picked us and stabbed himself on Gameday.  Without Ed Orgeron, that feeling simply would not exist.  Some think a two year contract for Ed O is a safe play right now, but I still think Chris Peterson & Jon Gruden have to say no first.  I'd take CEO over Sumlin everyday of the week and twice on Saturday.  As soon as I heard the theme song from The Rock in this video, I laughed about the genius of Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage in the same movie.

 

 
P.S. Trailers have come a long way in the last 17 years.

Chris Farley - Rob Ford Mash-Up

If you don't watch this more than once, then you're dumb.

Morning Melons with Candice Swanepoel

 
Candice Swanepoel posted this video from the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show last night.  It appears that it is going to be another voluptuous show.  Her Instagram is fantastic - @angelcandices

Antonio Cromartie Got Snipped

 

I just wonder if the news of his vasectomy was also news to his wife.

Gronk Rap

The Coach Who Never Punts

I cannot tell you how much I agree with this philosophy.  In all my years of following Sabermetrics, never has its use been put to a flashier, more exciting style.  Baseball Sabermetrics calls for patience, walks, runners on base, etc.  This is Sabermetric Football, and there isn't a more intoxicating brand on Earth.  He says that he thinks onside kicks should be considered turnovers, and I can't say that I disagree with him.  Grantland was responsible for this piece "The Coach Who Never Punts." I genuinely enjoy seeing someone way ahead of their time.

Rob Ford Continues to Amaze

 
I really can't tell you how much I respect his love of all things football.  Takes the podium again today and doesn't even fake it with a single solitary item of hockey paraphernalia.  Just another awesome football tie.  Keep being you Rob.  It came out yesterday that police (mounty's?) were told Mayor Rob Ford drank a fifth of vodka, snorted cocaine, smoked weed, smoked crack, took OxyContin all the while with a prostitute on St. Patrick's Day last year.  His response was, "I fucked up. Oops. Sorry, I effed up."  Everyone laughed.  Then he said that he didn't remember snorting cocaine, as if all should be forgiven.

This morning when he arrived in the personalized jersey below at his first press conference.  Reporters asked about allegations that he "wanted to eat staffer Olivia Gondek's pussy."  He denied the allegations saying, "I would never do that.  I've got more than enough to eat at home."  More laughter.  I can't get enough of this beautiful mess.
 

Scott Niedermayer Inducted into Hockey Hall of Fame

 
I'll be perfectly honest, if Scott Niedermayer and his brother Rob hadn't decided to team up in Anaheim, he would just be another faceless defenseman to me.  Someone that I knew was good, but rarely if ever got to see play.  Plus he was in Jersey.  If he had been a Ranger, people that don't know hockey would know his name.  But he wasn't merely just good, he was probably the smoothest defenseman to ever play the game.  He was faster than forwards and wingers, anticipated better than anyone else in the game, and skated with so much ease that it often made other players jealous.

Scott Niedermayer is the reason the Ducks won the 2007 Stanley Cup.  He was the modern day equivalent of a player-coach out on the ice.  I still believe he is the reason that Corey Perry & Ryan Getzlaf decided to stick around in Anaheim.  I know our defense is leaps and bounds improved with him as the current coach of the defense.  He is the first Hall of Fame Inductee that I consider to be a Duck, although I know Devils fans disagree with that.  Paul Kariya, whom I had a shrine to as a child, unfortunately did not get into the HOF on his first ballot this year.  I blame Scott Stevens for shortening his career, who Niedermayer ironically credited with "teaching him to be a pro."  It just goes to show that Niedermayer was all class in not picking up Stevens' malicious, head-hunting style.  Kariya will get in next ballot, and Teemu is a first-ballot shoe-in.  It's been a fun twenty years.
 

30 for 30 - The Space Jam Game

Morning Melons with Kacie McDonnell

Outkick the Coverage just posted pictures of Georgia QB Aaron Murray's girlfriend, Kacie McDonnell. Believe me when I say that I did a far better job of finding these top three pics, including my fave on the right, by scouring her Instagram.  Starting SEC QB is the only sure thing in life.

College Gameday in the Quad

 
College Gameday has always been right in front of the Peristyle, but it was just announced that Gameday is going to be in the McCarthy Quad on campus at USC for homecoming versus Stanford this Saturday.  The row normally has tents all over the quad, so maybe this is an attempt to keep fraternity tailgates off campus.  Either way, I'm debating setting an alarm to get there before Corso puts on the Stanford tree.

Michigan President Wasted / Slurring at Halftime

 

This is just fun to listen to.  Party on Mary Sue.

Future NBA MVP Kevin Love

 
Kevin Love is the best player in the NBA.  Even fathoming the possibility of Lebron and Love on the same team next year is terrifying.  So far this season, he is putting up video game numbers.  He's averaging 27 points, 15 rebounds, and 5 assists per game.  Larry Bird couldn't even keep up with that pace.  His offensive rebounding has even taken a hit since he is spending more time on the perimeter burying 3 pointers.  How the Lakers didn't trade Pau for him 2 years ago is one of the very few knocks I have against Mitch Kupchak.  He made last night look like the Timberwolves were the varsity team playing a JV Lakers team.  Kobe's not gonna fix that.

Dwight Howard Loses Game and at Tag

I really enjoyed watching Dwight Howard missing just enough free throws for the Lakers to squeak by with a win.  This gif alone is why every Laker fan is ecstatic he's gone.  At least Shaq was a threat in the post.  Enjoy your has-been defensive specialist Houston.  I hope Kevin McHale gets everything that is coming to him for this idiotic signing.

Kate Upton Body Paint

Posting this was a simple decision, but the more times I watched this, the more I began to think Kate Upton is partially retarded.  Did her speech decelerate?  I honestly never remember her sounding quite so dumb.  Either way, BOOBS.

Drunks Kids Party With Stolen Llama

Some drunk French teenagers stole a llama from circus in Bordeaux.  They first had their hearts set on a notoriously stubborn zebra, but they ended up taking the willing llama.  After partying with it around town like a dog, all five of them were arrested.  First good French story I've heard in a long time.  Those SnapChats had to be hilarious.

A Few Good Linemen

I hate Bleacher Report as much as the next guy, but Adam Jacobi just crushed Twitter like I've never seen Twitter crushed before.  Click here for his parody of the greatest Jack Nicholson scene ever.  A Few Good Men is like Shawshank, I can't turn it off once I stumble across it.

Choosing A Tie

 

 

A lot of people have been making wise cracks about Toronto mayor Rob Ford, and I don't want to let this opportunity slip through the cracks.  If I'm having a press conference where I admit to smoking rocks while also refusing to resign, I might take a crack at a mirror before stepping up to the mic.  Granted, he'd been up since the crack of dawn worrying about accidentally cracking an unapologetic smile during his presser.  You don't have to be a crack reporter to understand that cracking a few beers and doing your best Tyrone Biggums impression is not the same.

In all seriousness, he's the mayor of Toronto... doesn't a Maple Leafs tie make more sense?  I give Rob Ford a grand total of 3 days before he is officially ousted, and money is coming in heavy on the under.  If you want your very own mayoral crackhead tie, here is your chance.

I Don't Even Like Soccer

But this is clearly worth your time.  I'd rather watch Ibrahimovic than Messi.
 

Richie Incognito No Longer

After this week, Incognito is quite the misnomer.  Calling another teammate, better yet a linemate, a half-n****r and then threatening to kill him on a voicemail is just about the dumbest thing you can do.  For all I know, that could be a hate crime.  He also then extorted $15,000 from Martin under the guise of rookie hazing for a Vegas trip that he didn't even attend.  Here is the pot calling the kettle a half-nig in this PSA:

I met Richie Incognito at Shellbacks in Manhattan Beach last summer.  I'm pretty sure I sent my Dolphins buddy a SnapChat with him.  He was a standard, arrogant athlete from my perspective, but I was distracted that night by how much I utterly hated the douche bag that is Julian Edelman.  I actually saw him twice scroll through his phone to show chicks Tom Brady's number, but I digress.  Is there any team that you can fathom signing Incognito save the Raiders?  Worse yet, how miserable is Bob Costas' lecture about bullying going to be on Sunday Night Football?  God help us.

Northwestern's Flag Uniforms

Don't get me wrong, I love these uniforms, but they seem out of place at Northwestern.  These unis should be reserved for the military academies IMO.  Either way, I want that helmet.  The blood spatter across the entire uniform is an especially nice touch.

Here are the Oregon State highlights.  Buck Allen is a BEAST.

PS - You could set just about anything to the song Ecstasy of Gold and I would watch it.

John Clayton FTW

 
Deadspin just posted this picture, and it made my day.  If this is what comes of the simple internet rumor that John Clayton has a ponytail, it's time for another one.