Dude Annoys Girlfriend With Puns At IKEA

My favorite part of the video is when you can see Donna go from totally annoyed to can't help herself from laughing at her asshole boyfriend.  This is one of those videos that gets funnier to me each time I watch it.  Punny is funny.  I don't care what you say.

Carolla's Legal Name Is Adam Lakers Carolla

To be honest, I'm not sure how this piece of knowledge escaped me for this long.  I've been listening to the Ace Man's podcast for YEARS.  I've heard Adam shit on his parents for not even having the brainpower to know why he was never given a middle name, but I've never heard the end to that beautiful story.  The best part of this tale of true fandom is that he has to sign his mortgage papers, pink slips, etc. as Adam Lakers Carolla.

Julian Edelman's Trip To Israel Looked Awesome

My initial reaction to this video was to laugh at Julian Edelman for only being able to learn one Yiddish word - Yalla - meaning "let's go."  But then I remembered that I came away from two weeks in Italy only being able to say thank you / grazie and good afternoon / buona sera.  I've said before how much I personally hated Edelman when I met him in Manhattan Beach, but I respect him as a football player.  Birthright trips to Israel always come away with amazing pictures, so Edelman making a highlight video is obviously the correct choice.  I still can't believe those refs didn't make him go through the concussion protocols after he got lit up in the Super Bowl and couldn't walk back to the huddle.

Cris Carter "Fall Guy" Video Is Funnier Than I Expected

Over the last 24 hours, I've heard all of the soundbites from Cris Carter's speech to the rookies at the symposium in 2014.  I finally decided to watch the video, and I was not disappointed.  Warren Sapp was arrested for soliciting prostitutes 8 months after this rookie symposium happened, which only adds to the effect of this amazing clip.  And it's pretty amazing that the video above was featured on NFL.com until yesterday.  This all stems from ESPN's article about 49ers rookie-turned-retiree Chris Borland's decision to preemptively retire to prevent further brain injury.  If you haven't read it yet, it's definitely worth a read.  For what it's worth, Borland's retirement might have more to do with the fact that he's the oldest looking 24 year old in the history of the world.

Monday Has Me Feeling Like...

@YahooSports Not Amused By My Baylor Joke, Deletes Tweet

I guess no one is having fun on this beautiful Friday in August.  Yahoo! Sports posted this ridiculous headline given yesterday's damning exposé entitled Silence at Baylor  about Art Briles covering up for known sexual deviant if not rapist named Samuel Ukwuach.  Briles & Baylor transfer-recruited Ukwuachu from Boise State, and he even claimed negligence to his past at Boise State.  Chris Petersen, now at Washington, was forced to address the situation and hung Briles out to dry today stating that he told him all about Ukwuachu's violent past.

On a serious note, I had a lot of retweets and favorites coming my way with that one.  I'm pissed.

Alabama Won Ashley Madison's Horniest State Contest

Not much to add to this breakdown of dollars spent on Ashley Madison per capita.  Utah comes in quite a bit higher than I would've guessed.  West Virginia makes sense at the bottom, cuz you don't need Ashley Madison to bang your sister.  Alabama running away with the title in the Bible Belt cannot be overlooked.  I need more famous people getting outed.  This is taking too long.