Samuel L. Jackson Is NOT Lawrence Fishburne

This video cracked me up.  Made my morning.  Samuel L does NOT appreciate everyone on Twitter confusing him with Lawrence Fishburne.  The stereotypical black hate he rattles off to make KTLA schmuck Sam Rubin progressively more and more uncomfortable is absolutely classic.  On another note, I truly think this Dave Chappelle skit is the reason SLJ signed on to do Snakes on a Plane.

Smug Putin Gif Wins The Day

I can't stop watching Putin's smug nod of approval to Bode Miller's demise.  So cold.  Except it's fake and was spliced from his response to Russian figure skater Yulia Lipnitskaya's free skate performance.  I love using Twitter as an anti-Putin propaganda machine.  I agree with Ashley Wagner thinking her score was "bullshit."  And this first person account of the downhill is really watered down, but it's still fun.

GIFs Of The Day

Opening ceremonies went about as well as could be expected.  This steadied view of what it's like to do a little ski jumping is hard to imagine but fun to appreciate.  The luger that somehow gets back on the luge is remarkable.  And the last one just made me laugh.  Hilariously easy target.

Today Was Boring

This creepy new take on the Shake Weight is called the Tug Toner.  It looks like a Comedy Central bit.  Also, this toilet seat in Sochi made me laugh.

Sark's Perfect Signing Day

I thought Adoree Jackson was going to open up a Pandora's box of hatred in me akin to when DeAnthony Thomas took money from Oregon.  I'm very happy my instincts were off.  This video shows how pumped the coaches were to get him as well.

Just two hours later, Juju Smith punks Oregon while putting on a USC hat.

Sark signed every single recruit on our board without having any jump ship throughout the course of the day.  That is very difficult to do as a coach with only 2 months on the job.  Tee Martin was a major contributor to our day as well.  We are even getting a few walk-ons that had scholarship offers elsewhere.  CB Davonte Nunnery from Ventura and Hawaii Player of the Year QB Larry Tuileta are both going to earn their spots at USC.  These are the final rankings on Rivals as of this afternoon.

 

Securing a top 10 class is absolutely massive.  No team has won a national championship without having 2 top 10 recruiting classes since 2006.  USC also jumped into the Top 5 for average Stars per commit.  That is the metric purely for quality over quantity.  It's necessary to note that UCLA jumped up to #8 overall in average stars as well.

The Hefty Lefty - Jared Lorenzen

Many people may not remember Jared Lorenzen, but SEC country coined him the Hefty Lefty while he was at Kentucky.  He even managed to get a Super Bowl ring as Eli Manning's backup in 2004.  In 2011, he became the commissioner of the Ultimate Indoor Football League.  After what appears to be a falling out after a few teams folded, Lorenzen decided to step down as the GM of the Kentucky River Monsters in order to quarterback the team at well over 300 pounds.  After a quick stint with the Owenboro Rage, he is back with the River Monsters and is as hungry as ever to win in what is now the Continental Indoor Football League.  Roethlisberger better watch his back.  Enjoy the Vines below.  Here he is asking for some nachos.

My Super Bowl Experience

My Super Bowl XLVIII experience in NY was better than my NFC Championship game experience.  I really didn't think that would be possible going into it, and was I ever wrong.  I spent the better part of Monday cursing Roger Goodell's power over the weather as my flight was cancelled 3 times due to 8 fresh inches of snow.  I finally got home yesterday afternoon, and I'm sick as a dog.  Well worth it once you scroll down and see these photos.  I'm also really pumped for next season and the Seahawks' chances at making it back to Super Bowl XLIX.

Rachel Nichols was more than happy to take a selfie.

The Roastmaster, Jeff Ross, saw me coming from 30 yards away.

My confetti angel could use a little work.

Peter King is overrated.

That's a keeper.

My buddy's confetti angel was much better.

I love this picture so much.

This is how close I was to Russell Wilson at the trophy presentation.  It dawned on me yesterday that I happily heard nothing about his race or comparisons to Doug Williams after the Super Bowl.  I wish America was that colorblind more often.

Beast Mode at the afterparty.

Macklemore performing at the afterparty.