Wednesday, January 7, 2015

It's My Birthday, And I'll Longform If I Want To


My cousin emailed me this morning letting me know that he hung this poster of LT right above my crib 28 years ago.  He distinctly remembers my mom not being pleased.  I can imagine.  Just in case someone feels like gifting me what I wished for this year, feast your eyes on the TrackingPoint Precision Guided Semi-auto AR-15.


In other news, the LAPD somehow recovered OJ Simpson's Heisman replica trophy that was stolen from Heritage Hall in 1994.  A replica trophy is always given to the school, and I know that USC had another replica trophy made to replace the stolen one.  The question is whether or not USC will do what is right and pay to restore this lost piece of USC history.  And if you're wondering what happened to The Juice's original trophy, he had to sell it at auction for legal bills to Tom Kreissman, pictured in the center below.  It is believed that Kreissman sold the trophy back to the memorabilia dealer OJ allegedly ambushed in Las Vegas named Alfred Beardsley.  Beardsley (pictured right) is the same man who betrayed OJ and helped Ron Goldman extract such an enormous $33.5 million civil settlement given his intimate knowledge of OJ's memorabilia sales going back to 1982.


Busted Coverage posted this picture of Anna Kournikova, and it brought me back to my sexual fantasies of the early 2000s.  How is it possible that someone like her only get 2600 likes on an Instagram picture like this one?  Oh yeah, everyone else hates dog pictures as much as I do.


I'm going to scalp a ticket to the USC vs. Cal basketball game tonight if anyone wants to meet me there.  Cal is a better team, but let's hope the Trojans first home Pac-12 game creates enough fire to possibly pull out a win.  It sucks that I have to avoid the row until Del Taco is demolished.  It would hurt too much to see it today.  My buddy sent me this tweet today showing that the Pac-12 still can't get no respect.


In other news, a dude with two dicks did a Reddit Ask Me Anything last year, and I thought it was fascinating.  Total mindblow.  I couldn't even imagine what growing up with dueling dicks must've been like.  Supposedly his new book tells stories about awkward encounters over the years, but the front cover of the book alone is almost too perfect not to buy.


Lastly, I don't know how I've made it 28 years on God's green Earth and didn't know I shared a birthday with the greatest actor of our generation - Nicolas Cage.  Here are my reactions when I heard such an amazing factoid this morning.

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