Von Miller Explained

I like to party more than the next guy, and obviously so does Von Miller.  ProFootballTalk just released his statement regarding the 6-game suspension for violating the NFL's drug policy.  He stated, "Although my suspension doesn’t result from a positive test, there is no excuse for my violations of the rules."  A little reading between the lines will do some good.

First, Miller does a bunch of Molly at a Memorial Day pool party in Vegas.  This is Miller at said party in a fucking onesie.  Next, he finds out that he has a drug test the very next day which he will most definitely fail for MDMA, and most likely fail for marijuana and God knows what else.  What does he do?

He does what any of us would do.  He goes out and buys the drinkable detox.  He then decides to mishandle the exchange with the tester, hoping that less pee in the container will help his chances of not having a flagged test for detox.  Instead, they make him re-piss and the entire new detoxified urine sample shows up as diluted.

For this reason and this reason only is Miller being suspended an additional 2 games.  They KNOW he tried to cheat the test.  These events clearly show him trying to hide something.  Now instead of losing $537k, he is losing $806k of his $2.284mil salary.  Don't do drugs kids.  Not even in Vegas.

UPDATE - I did not factor in his signing bonus.  He loses 6/17ths of this year's bonus as well, bringing his total financial losses for the 6-game suspension to $2,020,425.76.  Ouch.