Everybody's Shocked Lebron Was In Foul Trouble

Except the last time Lebron was in foul trouble was almost exactly one year ago to the day.  Team Silver tried to throw us all off their scent with the Cavs retardedly winning the lottery, but they aren't even trying to hide the obvious officiating directive to make sure this series goes back to Miami.  And I can't think of a bigger sham than the bidding process for the Clippers today.  Literally everyone knows Donald is going to drag this out to the bitter end.  This is precisely how I feel towards anyone that believes Sterling will simply relinquish control of the Clippers without a serious legal fight.

$15 To Make All-Time NBA Starting Lineup

This game is tougher than it looks.  In my opinion, there are 2 PGs, 3 SGs, 4 SFs, 3 PFs, and 5 Cs to choose from.  These were the best teams I could come up without really trying.

Team 1 - Oscar, Kobe, Durant, Duncan, Shaq
Team 2 - Magic, West, Durant, Dirk, Wilt
Team 3 - Oscar, West, Lebron, Dirk, Hakeem
Team 4 - Magic, Jordan, Durant, Dirk, Hakeem

Vintage Pete Carroll

Garrett Scott, the Seattle Seahawks 6th round draft pick, was found to have a rare heart condition during his extensive physical.  Now Scott went from the life highlight of being drafted into the NFL to the low of having it taken away in less than a month. 

The Seahawks found out about Scott's condition before signing him but the team signed him to his contract anyway, then waived him. That means Scott receives his signing bonus and first-year salary totaling about $555,000.  Last year's 199th pick got a $91K signing bonus, so he should end up with nearly $650,000 from this classy gesture from the Seahawks.

As if there was another reason to love the Seahawks, they seem to have heartwarming stories steaming out of their organization.  I certainly haven't forgotten about the wrongfully accused Brian Banks, and the help the Seahawks gave him in ultimately signing a contract with the Falcons last season.

Morning Melons in Slow Motion

And this video of Bill Murray crashing a bachelor party to give a speech is further proof that he is the best ad-libber of all time.

Bill Murray Crashes Bachelor Party

Laughs Before Memorial Weekend

Easily scared or startled people simply make you want to fuck with them.  You can't help yourself.  If I was this kid, all of my SnapChats would consist of various ways of trying to give my Dad a heart attack.  And considering that all BCS readers are going to be cursed with only daughters, I just hope we can have half as much fun together as this duo.

Mark Cuban Talks About Stereotyping, Now Is Racist

Mark Cuban started laying the ground work for his eventual abstention from the Donald Sterling ousting vote with the interview in the video above with Inc Magazine.  He was "too honest" by most sports commentator accounts, which might be the most fascist thing I've ever heard.  Since when do the PC police have the ability to lynch you for alluding to a widely held view that still exists in our society.  What an absolute joke.  If stereotyping people for even the smallest bit of piece of mind in regard to your safety is so abhorrent, you stand behind the 4 hijab-wearing Muslims in the shorter security line at the airport.  It's now racist to even have a brief hesitation or reservation about anything of the sort, but I just see this as basic human nature.  In other mind-boggling news, Ray Rice, the guy who knocked his fiance unconscious & then dragged her around a hotel, received probation for the assault.  And this hate on David Blaine on Kimmel's Mean Tweets made my morning.

New USC Inside LB Commit Cameron Smith Is A Beast

USC & Team Sark have had a great last couple weeks of recruiting.  Cameron Smith is a total beast.  He just runs over and through people, and these highlights are only from his junior year.  I think #55 might be in the cards for Mr. Smith.  And below are the 2012 D1 State Championship highlights from when Cameron Smith was a sophomore.  He's already used to elite competition and big games.

Red Sox Fan Teaching DGAF 101

My goal in life is to care this little about everything.  On the other hand, I appreciate how hard some virgin worked on this analysis of Kate Upton's bra size.  Justin Verlander further proving that starting pitcher is the best job in sports.

Notre Dame Selling Stadium Grass

Notre Dame is reportedly replacing their stadium grass with FieldTurf, and they are selling 5'x2' pieces of the grass sod for $150.  Adam Carolla often talks about how he finds himself looking for a reason to pee outside, sort of marking his territory at home.  I know for a fact that my Dad likes to pee in the backyard after waking up from a nap on the hammock or in the front yard next to his car after the drive home from Angel Stadium.  He would hesitate to have Jalacio (not kidding) cut out a 5'x2' patch of grass so he could piss on the Domers whenever the mood struck.  His birthday is just 3 weeks away, so I can think of worse ideas.  This really ties in nicely with yesterdays's news that Lou Holtz will be retiring from ESPN at the end of this coming football season.  And here is a random video of Jack Nicklaus making a circus shot that Johnny Miller said was impossible to even putt.

25th Anniversary of Road House

It is incumbent upon me to remind all of my BCS readers that today is the 25th anniversary of the all-time classic film, Road House.  It pains me that Swayze/Dalton isn't with us to celebrate the occasion, but then again, "Pain don't hurt."

I recently heard this story about Bill Murray and his brothers calling Kelly Lynch's director husband Mitch Glazer everytime the movie is on TV.  From Lynch, "Every time Road House is on and he or one of his idiot brothers are watching TV — and they’re always watching TV — one of them calls my husband and says, “Kelly’s having sex with Patrick Swayze right now. They’re doing it. He’s throwing her against the rocks.” What? Oh, my God.”  Mitch was just walking out the door to the set, and he said that Bill once called him from Russia."  The Murray's are the best.

 Here is the link for the torrent of the movie -

http://kickass.to/road-house-1989-xvid-dvdrip-eng-greenbud1969-hdscene-release-t5106507.html

Johnny Football's Back to Back SI Covers

If I never had to hear about Johnny Football's draft night text to the Browns again, I would be fine.  He was clearly just copy/pasting that text to every team left in the first round.  He probably sent it to the Cowboys more than once.  Such a dumb story.  On the other hand, landing two consecutive Sports Illustrated covers almost never happens.  And following illiterate Kendall Jenner and underage Kylie Jenner during the Billboard Awards would be a non-event for everyone else, but for Johnny Football it's full-blown power move.  Play on playa.

Pictures of the Weekend

Tom Brady, Mike Tyson, and Kliff Kingsbury partying together at the Preakness looks like more fun than I had this weekend.  The entire Detroit Tigers team traveled in Tiger-print Zubaz last night.  Miggy looks especially hard in that T-shirt as well. 

Macklemore got himself into some trouble this weekend after dressing up like a cartoon version of a Jew for a surprise concert.  And his laughable tweet claiming to be oblivious to how that ridiculously huge Jew-nose would be perceived is the same as someone saying they didn't know blackface wasn't kosher in the black community in this day and age.  What's worse - public antisemitism or closeted racism?

And I wish this rugby mentality and sportsmanship would become pervasive across American sports.

PS - Going forward, I will be juxtaposing everyone's public missteps against the Trayvon-esque witch hunt facing Donald Sterling.  Sterling is guilty of thought-crime, as he didn't even say those comments publicly.  Kevin Johnson can pay off the multiple 15 year old's he molested and Macklemore can perform in essentially Jew-face - and they are above reproach.  My apologies in advance if you aren't on board for the "Donald Sterling vs. ..." posts.

Game Of Zones - NBA Game of Thrones Parity

Anybody who watches Game of Thrones will really enjoy this.

Preakness Toilet Run, RIP

The Preakness at Pimlico stopped letting people bring their own booze into the infield after these  incidents in 2008.  I always get nostalgic for the youtubes of drunks getting concussions from full beers to the back of the head & swan dives onto your face from about 8 feet high.  And the story today about Churchill Downs requesting Wes Welker to give back $15,000 they mistakenly overpaid to his group is ridiculous.  Sportsbooks can't force people to give money back if they wrongly paid out a bet, so I don't imagine Churchill Downs is holding its collective breath.  He might just pay so his group gets waited on hand & foot next year.

Alabama Isn't Even Trying To Hide It Anymore

Alabama RB Derrick Henry posted this picture of his brand new Dodge Challenger to Instagram on Monday.  It's laughable.  Actually, it Bama that is laughing at us.  This all goes back to the NCAA ignoring DJ Fluker taking $45,000+ on the record while at Alabama.  Why do they still have that fucking crystal ball???  Am I living in bizarro world?  Not holding Bama accountable for paying players is only going to make them bolder with their extra benefits.  Henry's car is crimson for fuck's sake.  Then former West Virginia QB Pat White took it a step further with, "Stop pretending like you didn’t know the crimson tide has been doing this for years. Still glad I turned down a Corvette to become a mountaineer."  And a reporter had the balls to ask Saban about Pat White's comments (why not Derrick Henry's car, I have no idea), and his response below consists of "kiss my ass."

Pictures of the Day

I was watching the Bruins-Canadiens Game 7 when Verlander got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  I can't really blame the guy.  He already won a game and had to be a little rattled after he threw behind Nelson Cruz on purpose.  I'm surprised the benches didn't clear, but the Orioles looked like they knew it was bound to happen after throwing at Torii Hunter.  In other news, Steve Kerr decided that a floundering Carmelo sounded worse than an emerging Steph Curry.  $25 million is a lot of money for a coach with no experience, but it looks like a great deal in comparison to Stan Van Gundy's $35 million deal from the Pistons.  And this is the greatest picture of Steve Kerr in existence.

I've never really seen a gif of a voluptuous woman using a hydraulic hammer, so here you go.

Lebron James Is NOT Boycotting Next Season

I can't believe I forgot to rant about this topic earlier today.  ESPN's headline this morning was about Lebron James boycotting next season if Donald Sterling is still the owner of the Clippers.  I laughed out loud at this ridiculous notion.  Supposedly Roger Mason Jr., VP of the NBPA, stated this as a fact on Showtime Sports last night.  "If it's not handled by the start of next season, I don't see how we're playing basketball," said Mason.  Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.  James Jones, former Miami Heat player and current secretary treasurer of the NBPA, has already started walking back Mason's retarded comments.  What would you have Adam Silver do that he hasn't done already?  Why put such a bold, unnecessary, and unrealistic timetable on this situation?

Here are a few guarantees that I would gladly put a large wager on:

1. Donald Sterling will be the owner of the Clippers in October 2014.

2. Lebron James will not miss one second due to a Donald Sterling boycott.

3. Chris Paul will not miss one second due to a Donald Sterling boycott.

4. Doc Rivers will still be coaching the Clippers, as one of the highest paid coaches in the league.

5. Blake Griffin will still have to fake like half of him is irate at Donald Sterling.

6. Not one single, solitary NBA player is going to boycott next season.  

The players make too much money to boycott, and most of them will be six months removed from their last paycheck. If the recent NFL & NBA lockouts have taught us anything, it's that the players need the money much more than the owners.  Allen Iverson used to live paycheck to paycheck due to his 40-person entourage, and he is most definitely not alone.

Nina Agdal Frolicking In The Ocean

This is now my 2nd favorite frolicking in the ocean gif, behind Rocky 3 of course.

USC Vs. Alabama to Kickoff 2016 at Cowboys Stadium

Dan Patrick announced this morning that he has been tipped off about a USC vs. Alabama neutral site game at Cowboys Stadium to start out the 2016 season.  This game would clearly be one of the most anticipated out of conference games to start a college football season.  Since the SEC is afraid to play good opponents, especially late in the year, a kickoff classic like this really does seem possible.  USC has had a history of curbstomping SEC opponents, so I'll believe this news when I see the press release.  And a friend sent me this throwback USC roast video from 2005.  The hate on the Tings stings even more when you know their role in the 2006 Rose Bowl, and fantasizing about LenDale sticking around for his senior year will be the extent of my morning.

Morning Melons with Catie Varley, Tom Savage's GF

I know almost nothing about former Pitt now Texans QB Tom Savage, but I do know that he outkicked his coverage when it comes to Catie Varley.  She's definitely the best thing to come out of Pittsburgh since Jeff Goldblum.  She looks good in every picture, so it was tough to decide which ones to use.  Enjoy.

And this picture of Macaulay Culkin wearing a t-shirt of Ryan Gosling wearing a t-shirt of Macaulay Culkin made my morning.

Dan Bilzerian Even Has Awesome Heart Attacks

Not your average bender.

Story Of The Weekend

So I randomly got invited to Game 4 of the Ducks-Kings freeway series with the promise of a dinner at the Palm beforehand.  The Ducks crushed the Kings even more than I crushed my filet, but the best part of the night was reserved for last.  My buddy and I were waiting in the valet line at the Palm after the game when he noticed Pete Rose standing right behind us.  My buddy told me to take a look at who was behind me, but I only saw the two Asian hookers Rose was flanked by.  I truly didn't recognize Rose under a white fedora, a XXL Cuban shirt and suede loafers.  All he was missing was a cane.  I wanted a picture with him, but he was already agitated by the time I introduced myself and called him the best hitter that ever lived.  I decided that forcing the issue on a selfie was a little too Jim Gray-esque, so I let it go.  Not 2 minutes later, I witnessed Pete Rose send one of his geisha girls into the sushi bar next door to check on the score of the Spurs-Blazers game.  She came out and yelled, "The Spurs are winning."  His response, "By how much?"  My jaw hit the floor.

Let me repeat that - The one and only time I've ever even seen Pete Rose, I witnessed him check the score, aka his spread, for a meaningless NBA quarterfinals game.  Once a degenerate, always a degenerate.  And for what it's worth, I don't really think he's that sorry about betting on baseball.

MTV Cribs Revisits Redman's Crib

I forgot how ghetto Redman's crib was in 2001.  The dollar box at the end of the video has some sentimental value as it reminds me of the most ridiculous roommate I've ever had.  My favorite cribs ever belongs to Chris Pontius, aka Party Boy.

USC Swimming & Diving Promo

The new Uytengsu Aquatics Center opened in February, but this is the first I've seen the USC Swimming & Diving teams' promotional video.  The ridiculous new film school literally casts a shadow on the stadium, so I guess it makes sense.

Charles Barkley Double Fisting

I have nothing to say.

Kevin Durant's Tearjerker of an MVP Speech

If you don't have time to listen to the whole speech, jump to the 4 minute mark to bring on the feels.  Kevin Durant thanking his Mom was one of the sweetest things I've heard in a while.  I bet he's off the hook now for Mother's Day this weekend.  This speech stands in such stark juxtaposition to Michael Jordan's bitter Hall of Fame speech.  Jordan has more money than God, and he's still an asshole.

And Charles Barkley is taking a lot of heat for this extended segment of hate directed towards the fat women of San Antonio.  It's only a matter of time before he says something that he can't come back from.  Donald Sterling hasn't helped, giving the PC Police more henchmen.

This gif is the exact situation I see Barkley in at the end of his broadcasting career.

Tommy Lasorda Says What We're All Thinking

Tommy Lasorda giving his two cents on the Donald Sterling situation cracked me up.  His exact quote is "I don't wish that girl any bad luck, but I hope she gets hit with a car."  Instant classic.  And here is Fartolo Colon stepping in the bucket so hard that he loses his helmet TWICE.

And in completely unrelated news, Fox News just informed me that Corona Del Mar high school in Newport Beach is in hot water for an underground "Prom Draft."  This sounds like the most amazing idea of all time, and you know so since some dumb feminist from a rival high school is the only one with her boxers in a bunch. I would pay to watch a bidding war for the hottest 18 year old sluts in Newport Beach.  The NFL Draft actually starts tomorrow, but I'll be fantasizing for the rest of today about how my senior prom draft would've played out in retrospect. 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Reboot Trailer

This trailer for the TMNT reboot looks much better than I expected.  Since my admiration for Leonardo was essentially the driving force behind my early success in life, I owe a great deal to this franchise.  The original movie with Casey Jones and the disgruntled teenagers turned "Foot Clan" was far better than it should've been.  The Secret of the Ooze was an amazing sequel with Master Shredder coming back from the dead and Vanilla Ice introducing us to the Ninja Rap.  I remember seeing the 3rd abomination in theaters and making a conscious decision to forget that it was ever made.  That may have been the day I became a movie critic.  It was that unwatchable.  Although I'm much more of a Michelangelo these days, I could still get behind the rampant CGI while trying not to notice Megan Fox's awful attempt at April O'Neil.  It just might work.  And I randomly came across Quentin Tarantino's take on Top Gun that I'm sure you'll enjoy.

#MansionParty Is Real Life Project X

I had no idea people partied this hard in Canada, but #MansionParty would've piqued my interest as well if I had nothing else to do in Ontario.  All of these parties becoming national news is supposed to show the power of social media when it really just shows the power of underage drinking.  Stories making national headlines like this always brings me back to my favorite unapologetic bro ever.

And I saw this picture of Donatella Versace yesterday.  Her resemblance to the whitewalkers in Game of Thrones is incredible, although I doubt that's the look she's going for.  You be the judge.

And Agent Zero clowning on Roy Hibbert during the Pacers game last night made me LOL.

Monday Melons with ASU Pi Phi's

Obviously these ASU chicks in the video are super hot, but I was just as impressed with the cinematography of their video.  I remember watching my sister's rush week videos and thinking how shitty they were.  Word Art floating in with some boring transitions used to douche up a Powerpoint.  This video looks better than just about every music video during the days of TRL on MTV.  And here's Wes Welker at the Kentucky Derby blacked out and handing $100 bills to anyone that wanted a picture with him.